You Supported As A Father?
Provided by Dr. Lois V. Nightingale
compassionate fathering and grandfathering are essential gifts given
to us by the conscientious men of our society. On Father's Day we
honor their contributions, their support and their memory. We encourage
the support of fathers and grandfathers and hope they are loving
and caring to themselves as those to whom they give.
you let your work place know how important being present for your
children's activities and family vacations are to you?
Do you make time to be the "hero", to help with difficult
homework, practice for sports, participate in kids' group activities,
listen to their peer problems, etc? If not what steps would you
like to take to make the time?
Have you told those around you what kinds of compliments regarding
being a good dad you appreciate most? Do you like to be complimented
for what you do? For what you contribute? For how you listen and
support? For what you teach?
What do you say to yourself about being a great father to your
children? Are you complimenting yourself and giving yourself acknowledgement
for this difficult job?
Do you take care of yourself physically, watch what you eat, get
enough sleep, exercise and spend time with friends? If not, you
may not have any extra energy to create fun with your kids.
Do you negotiate and set aside time to spend individually with
your wife (partner) and each of your children?
What were the lessons your father gave you that you value most?
The least? What lessons do you want to pass on to your children?
What things are you committed to not passing on?
What memories do you want your children to have of you as a father
when they are grown?
When you feel taken advantage of do you retrace your steps to
see where you contributed past your point of resentment? Do you
then respectfully renegotiate a give and take where you won't
feel resentful? It is important to let family members know ahead
of time (before you feel resentful) that they are asking too much.
Do you take time out to rejuvenate yourself spiritually, through
nature, meditation, affiliating with like-minded people or reading?
fathering lasts a lifetime. You're a wonderful gift to all the lives
you touch and impact everyday. Future generations will remember
your fathering today.
Lois V. Nightingale, Ph.D.